Living With A Brain Injury

I definitely was tired but more so mentally not physically. I mean It felt like my body was on autopilot and I just thought what was the purpose because I saw no progress. I literally did therapy and just went home because I didn’t want to do anything else. I was tired of putting in so much work because I just knew it was all pointless. I felt as though nothing would help me and slowly but surely I began slipping into depression. I chatted and talked like everything was cool but it really wasn’t.  I didn’t care to do anything and it got to a point where I thought ending it all was ok. One day I saw a bottle of all my pills in front of me and; it was at that moment I thought about taking them all. I kept thinking “it don’t matter cuz no one will really miss me”. I felt I wasn’t getting any better and I barely wanted to see myself so who else would? 

I just went along with everything and acted  as if I was fine and I would be ok but deep down I just wanted to be left alone. I was away from home for about 5 months and I wondered why wasn’t I the same person I was before the hospital visit. Knowing I missed so much and I’ll probably never be the same again was tough to handle but I’ll admit I didn’t handle it the best way.  I had a small bleed in my brain and this is what happens?Mentally I had given up but I had to be honest with myself at that moment and allowed God to come in and help me. I had to change my mindset and understand that my story was not over but I had to put in work. I could not just sit around and hope things would change. After prayer and therapy I understood it was time to change my attitude.